MY KNITTING IS NOT THAT INTERESTING

Yes, it’s true. I’m so sorry. Other people, they’re doing cool stuff. Wendy turns out a fair isle sweater every two weeks, it seems. Michelle just finished a Philosopher’s Wool sweater and has begun an intarsia piece. Teresa is moving and knitting a fair isle vest, simultaneously. Each row that these people knit is exciting. Their every stitch is a marvel of technique. Me? Not so much. The cabled raglan? Mostly stockinette. Even the cables them selves are not that exciting. Are you sitting down? Yes? Okay: slip three to cable needle, hold at back, knit two, knit three together from cable needle. Whew. I know. You couldn’t even handle that excitement while sitting, now, could you?

Maybe I should have thought this through a little more before starting this blog. Maybe there should have been a moment at which I said to myself, “Self, your knitting is not that interesting. There is really no need to share it with others.” Perhaps we all could have been spared. But, that didn’t happen. The blog is here, and, in lieu of exciting knitting, I’m going to tell a little story. True confession time, here. And it is blog-related, at least.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE ONLINE ABBREVIATIONS STAND FOR

Is there a code manual that I didn’t get? Where do these things come from? Do they float up gradually from some internet miasma? Or do they spring, fully formed, into the general, online consciousness? Whatever it is, I am missing something. LOL? What is that? Lots of Love? Lady of the Lake? It could be so many things. Just when I think I’ve cracked it, I see some use that does not fit with my definition at all. I could go on here with some other abbreviations that have me stumped, but I fear to reveal the true extent of my ignorance. So, if you know what these things mean, more power to you. Use them with abandon. But over here at grannysquare, we’re going to stick to writing things out long hand. That’s just the kind of blog this is.

THE WEEKEND

And now, the long-awaited weekend knitting predictions. What will I do? Well, I have a dream that I might complete the knitting of both sleeves of the cabled raglan. I do have the entire Oscars ceremony, after all. It could happen. But, at the same time, some other projects are calling my name. The cabled sleeveless turtleneck, aka “Moll,” wants some attention. The Koigu scarf also wants to know if it will ever graduate from the works in progress sidebar. I also want to start a pair of socks. Everyone’s knitting them, why not me?

TEMPLATE TERROR

Well, okay. I wasn’t going to post today at all, because, frankly, the progress on my cabled raglan just isn’t that interesting. (I’m making the front! It’s a lot like the back! But with a neckline! You get the idea.) But then, I cruised by Larry’s site, and I saw that he was talking about making some changes to his Blogger template and that it was not going so well. And so, I decided to share with you all the sad truth: I live in mortal fear of my Blogger template.

I know, it’s pathetic. But there it is. I don’t think this fear is unfounded. I have screwed my simple template up royally many a time now. Each time I try to add a link or some such, my heart is in my throat. It’s at the point now that, whenever I make a change, I first copy the entire thing into a separate text document, so I can get back to where I was, in case of disaster. I’ve had to go into “safe mode” more than once. Yes. Web programming, not really my strength.

My most recent html horror occurred this weekend, when I first surfed by the little blog at home on my Mac. (With the DSL! Oh, dang, wasn’t going to mention that.) Much to my shock and dismay, the background was black. Now, on my work computer, a PC, the background is white. The template I am using calls for a white background. I wanted a white background. What was up with this black nightmare? I was particularly affronted because I have some personal issues with black-background web pages. They can be okay, but it just isn’t my personal design aesthetic, you know? So what the heck was going on? Was it a platform issue? Who knew?

After some panicked monkeying with my template, which accomplished absolutely nothing, I just gave up and surrendered to the new, blog-of-doom look. Back at work on Monday, I checked the page again. White. At home that evening: white. Huh? What does this all mean? Did my blog, of its own accord, decide that it was time for a little change? Is black its weekend-casual look, and I just never knew? Still, the mind boggles. If any of you are in possession of some canny html knowledge and can explain this mayhem to me, I will be your slave.

In the meantime, don’t expect any big changes here at the blog. Even going into the template section of Blogger causes my palms to sweat and my knees to knock together. Well, maybe it’s not that bad. But it’s close.

I LOVE YOU, DSL.

I know, everyone's getting a little sick of my yammering on about the DSL. Either you already have high-speed internet, and you're over the excitement, or you don't, and you really wish I would stop rubbing it in. Well, I will stop, I promise. I just wanted to let you know that I got it installed without major difficulty and am surfing away.

The downside to the DSL? I spend a little too much time surfing. Before I know it, I've been online for an hour or two, and I haven't posted yet. Hm. And here I thought that the at-home connection would help my blogging.

PROJECTS MARCH ON

The past few days have been pretty productive. The back of the cabled raglan is done. The front of the cabled raglan is ready for cabling. (Put off casting on with the easily breakable yarn? Me? I don't know what you're talking about.) I also started the cabled sleeveless turtleneck, aka Moll.

The bad news for my current projects is the recent warm spell we've been having here in southern Connecticut. 60 degree weather makes me want summer-weight yarn and patterns for kicky little tops. Not good. Could I have a cold snap, please? Just enough to get me through these two sweaters and maybe that Koigu scarf. A couple of weeks. That's really all I need, I swear.

DSL!

Yes, my friends, today is the day that my DSL dream becomes a reality. I have the modem. My friends at the telephone company assure me that my connection has been turned on. I just have to go home, pop in the install cd, and away we go. Posting from home. Oh, yeah. Of course, I do know one person who, in the install process, managed to trash her computer completely, but I trust that this will not happen to me. She is not what I would consider technologically savvy, while I, except for my complete lack of html ability, am sort of okay. Oh, god, Murphy’s Law now demands that my computer explode during installation process. Dang.

While we’re on this techie subject, allow me to tell you my theory about how owning a PDA would completely revolutionize my fiber organization. On second thought, best not. The dear boy is already mocking me mercilessly for this new fascination; I probably should not spread a wider net for ridicule. So let’s talk about other things, like how

I AM STRANGELY FASCINATED BY THE SOUTH.

Yes, I am. I am an Oxford American-reading, Uncle Tupelo-listening dixophile. (Yes, I just made the word “dixophile” up. As in, one who is enamored of all things Dixie. Got a problem?) And I think I have mentioned previously my strange desire to use the term “y’all.” One of my new, brilliant plans for the future involves moving to Austin, Texas and doing something that is not public relations, my current career track. Obviously, the plan still needs to be refined. If anyone out there has some observations or suggestions about Austin or some other fabulous city south of the Mason-Dixon line, I would love to hear them. Be my enabler.

AND FINALLY, THE SUBJECT I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING

Er… knitting. Yes. Well. I did some cabled raglan last night. Really. Just not very much. You see, I ended up almost completely sucked into the Buffy the Vampire Slayer watching. It’s so embarrassing. But, well, Angel was pretending to have turned to evil in order to force Faith to show that she was the evil mayor’s stooge… This isn’t translating all that well, is it? It just sounds bizarre. Well, it is bizarre, but in a sort of good way. Really. Okay, I’ll do more tonight. Right after I set up that DSL…

FORGING AHEAD

I am cabling the raglans! They are looking quite good, though I say it myself, for a first cable endeavor. I hope to have the back done tonight. Sadly, this means I must cast on for the front, and I hate casting on with this yarn, due to it’s tendency to break. Larry very kindly suggested that this was less the fault of my potentially screwy cast on method, and more the fault of the single-ply, loosely spun yarn… but still my heart is filled with dread. Is it okay to start another project just because I fear casting on for this one? No. It isn’t. I know. I will take my courage in hand.

Since nothing else of great import has happened (no one has given birth or set fire to any of my possessions) I think I will have to wind this up now. Can you believe it? A brief entry! Perhaps I am coming down with something…

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

What a weekend it was. Babies were born. Friends came to visit. And, on Saturday, the dear boy damn near set the apartment on fire. I know you’re all on the edges of your respective seats by now, so I’ll give you the rundown.

We have a garret apartment in a large, Victorian house. This means that we are tucked right up under the eaves and, towards the edges of the apartment, the ceilings slope down very sharply to meet the walls. To take maximum advantage of the apartment’s space, many of the areas where the slope makes for spaces too low to stand in have been turned into closets. I use one of these, fitted with a clothes bar and a single shelf, for my clothes. I hang work clothes on the bar; I stack folded sweaters on the shelf.

This closet has a bare light bulb installed on one side wall, about two inches above the shelf. Why, I do not know. The closet is not so large, or so deep, or so dark that it really requires a light source. Also, the location of this bulb is awkward, so near the shelf. To keep it clear would sacrifice a lot of storage. So, when moving in, I decided not to use the light, but to stack sweaters over the entire length of the shelf. Tragically, however, I never removed the bulb.

And now, we come to the events of this weekend. A very close friend of the dear boy’s gave birth to her first child on Friday morning. He, being very excited about the whole event, had been spending a great deal of time at the hospital with mother and child. Finally, completely worn out, he stopped by the apartment on Saturday to shower, change, and take a quick nap. For some reason, possibly because he was so tired, he thought that some article of his, I have yet to determine exactly what, was in my closet. So, he turned on the light and looked around. Not finding it, he left to return to the hospital. The light, however, stayed on.

Three hours later, I returned from some errands to a god awful stench and two deeply disturbed cats. After running around the apartment madly, trying to determine the source of this odor, the cats and I tracked it to the closet, and the bulb. Two thick, wool sweaters had large, light-bulb shaped holes burned completely through them. Very upsetting. Luckily, they were not hand knitted sweaters.

It’s taken me about three days to calm down and four loads of laundry plus several quarts of Febreze to reclaim my wardrobe. I’m starting to see the funny side. No one was hurt, the cats don’t seem to have suffered smoke inhalation, and I’ve removed that bulb.

And the moral of the story is: light bulbs + sweaters + very tired boyfriend = disaster. Please remember that in the future, my friends.

KNITTING PREVAILS

In the midst of all this, I did manage to do a little knitting. I’ve knit about half of the back of cabled raglan. I got another dozen or so pattern repeats done on the Koigu scarf. I swatched for Moll. (Moll shall henceforth to be referred to as “cabled sleeveless turtleneck,” for the sake of those who have difficulty remembering all those Rowan names. Yes, I’m talking about me.) What with the baby arrival and a visit from another friend, there wasn’t as much Buffy the Vampire Slayer as I might have hoped, but it’s on dvd. It’ll keep.

So this evening… Will I forge ahead with the raglan? Or will I forsake it to start the cabled sleeveless turtleneck? (That really is not a catchy name. What to do?) Who can say? This is what makes life as a knitter so darn unpredictable. Try to stay calm, everyone. Take a few cleansing breaths.

Hm. Wrote this on Friday, forgot to post. Now, it's a little Sunday treat. Exciting, no?

STARTING…

Well, my friends, thanks again for the votes. The decision was split right down the middle, 2 to 2. (Okay, that’s not really that many votes. But, hey, for a blog without pictures, we’re not doing so badly here.) As we have a tie, I have decided that the fairest thing to do will be to start both. Heh. Watch how I’m going to justify this now. The Cabled Raglan, until I get to the cabled raglans (from which the sweater derives its name…) is just stockinette. Quick knitting, yes. Exciting, no. Therefore, the raglan will be my watching tv or carrying on a conversation project. Moll, meanwhile, will be my more exciting project, with cables happening here, there and everywhere. Pretty nifty reasoning, no? And how about this: just so little Shriek wouldn’t feel bad for not getting any votes, I decided to knit a swatch for it, too. Yep. I asked for help on choosing one, and instead, I seem to have begun all three. Although, maybe a swatch doesn’t count as starting. That’s what I will tell myself. I feel better already.

I cast on for the raglan last night. I know it has been said before, but Cash Iroha is really nice to knit with. Slides very nicely over the needles, no splitting. Casting on was troublesome, however, since my screwy adaptation of the long tail cast on seems to cause the yarn to lose its twist and break. Any suggestions for improving that? The problem seems to lie in the way I loop the yarn in my left hand.

BLOG NEWS

Exciting though this may not seem, I signed up for DSL yesterday, as well. Why do I mention this? Because getting DSL at home is phase one of my plan to get pictures on the blog. Can you bear it? Coming soon, to this blog, images of such finished projects as Market Squares Tote, Seed Stitch Pullover and Sleeveless Turtleneck!

STRANGE ADDICTIONS

Oh, god, I don’t even want to think about the Google hits that one is going to get me. (Note to self: make headings sound less depraved.) But anyway, I have high hopes for the weekend knitting. Why, you ask? Because I have become completely hooked on watching tv shows on dvd. Not The Sopranos, or Sex in the City, though. No, I am curiously addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I just don’t get it. I have never watched an episode on television. I never really got the hype. People who made sure they were home on “Buffy Night” weirded me out a little bit. But now, on dvd, it is fascinating. I just don’t understand. Maybe it’s just because Spike is so delightfully evil. I don’t know. But, it makes for good knitting time. And so, this weekend, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cabled Raglan and Moll. Should be nice. Have a good one, everybody.